Official first drop

Every Shit Starts With An Asshole

The first ESSWAA merch capsule. One slogan across clean product mockups: T-shirt, hoodie, mug, poster, sticker and tote bag.

First drop products

Shop the launch capsule

Six clean products. The same core line. Filter by what you want to wear, drink from, frame, stick or carry.

1 of 6 shown

Launch item

Stick

Small, loud and cheap enough to spread. First-drop stamp energy.

View product

Satire, not harassment

ESSWAA merch is built around site language, not named living people, private information or personal pile-ons.

Printed on demand

Products are sold through the official ESSWAA shop on Shopify, fulfilled through Printful. Checkout, shipping and returns stay outside the PHP site.

Official shop

The main site stays sharp. The shop handles the buying.