Launch item
WearEvery Shit Starts With An Asshole T-shirt
Big front slogan on the first-drop shirt. Clean, loud and instantly ESSWAA.
View productOfficial first drop
Every Shit Starts With An Asshole
The first ESSWAA merch capsule. One slogan across clean product mockups: T-shirt, hoodie, mug, poster, sticker and tote bag.
First drop products
Shop the launch capsule
Six clean products. The same core line. Filter by what you want to wear, drink from, frame, stick or carry.
6 of 6 shown
Launch item
WearEvery Shit Starts With An Asshole Hoodie
The warmer version of the core line. Same slogan, heavier feel, no extra clutter.
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Launch item
DrinkEvery Shit Starts With An Asshole Mug
Desk judgement for coffee, tea and identifying the problem in every meeting.
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Launch item
WallEvery Shit Starts With An Asshole Poster
A brutalist warning-poster version of the first ESSWAA line.
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Launch item
StickEvery Shit Starts With An Asshole Sticker
Small, loud and cheap enough to spread. First-drop stamp energy.
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Launch item
CarryEvery Shit Starts With An Asshole Tote bag
Reusable public judgement. Big slogan, simple layout, no busy graphics.
View productSatire, not harassment
Brand jokes only
ESSWAA merch is built around site language, not named living people, private information or personal pile-ons.
Printed on demand
Checkout stays in the shop
Products are sold through the official ESSWAA shop on Shopify, fulfilled through Printful. Checkout, shipping and returns stay outside the PHP site.
Official shop
Enter the official shop
The main site stays sharp. The shop handles the buying.